Your Child's First Job (aka "Where Did The Time Go?")

As my children grow older, I am now faced with a very different perspective on being a parent.  It’s a very odd feeling and I’m not entirely sure where I fit.  Am I parent or just a landlord? Do I offer advice or wait for them to ask?  Do I direct them or merely make suggestions? Put simply, it’s way more difficult than I imagined it would be.

For example, I am guilt ridden if dinner is not ready when my 18 year old gets home from work…..at 9:30 pm.  I constantly have to stop myself from texting if I have not heard from them for several hours.  I still do their laundry with mine and I still wash their dishes and pick up after them. 

Am I helping them or enabling them?

There is one area, however, in which I know I am right on track.  I walk the talk when it comes to the job hunting tips I share with you on this blog.  

I am am amazed at how many parents expect their children to somehow find a job when their kids don’t know the first thing about how or where to look!  The days of walking to the local gas station or fast food place and then getting hired on the spot are GONE!  I’m amazed at how many high schoolers are given dozens of hours of direction on how to find the right college, and little or NO direction on maneuvering the till-you-find-the-perfect-career point in their lives.

So, for all you parents out there, here are a few tips that will help you get focused, and get started, on helping your child find a job.

Focus, Focus, Focus –  WARNING:  This can be the hardest part. Ask yourself:  What are my child’s strengths and weaknesses that will help or hurt them on the job?  Are they sociable or introverted?  Do they have a driver’s license? If not, can I take them to and from work? Are there lots of opportunity in your town or will they be commuting to a larger, nearby, city? (Can they parallel park!?  EEK!) Are they organized and focused or scattered and require a lot of direction?  What are their long term goals and can those be applied to a short term, and/or part time, job? Are they ready to juggle school and a job?  Are both parents on board to support them in this endeavor?  Does my child know how to manage their money responsibly?

Until you can answer these questions, dare I say, that as a parent;

YOU are not ready for them to have a job!

 

Small Steps, Big Results – Once you’ve answered all of the tough questions, now it’s time for action.  Establish a generous timeline for finding a job.  It will be much easier to make progress if you devote a little time each week rather than a lot of time this week, and then none for weeks on end.  Determine exactly how much time will be spent each week devoted to the tasks of job searching, resume building, networking, and volunteering.  Gather all your child’s “tools”.

These may include, but are not limited to:  A resume, letters of recommendations, business cards, personal and/or volunteer reference list, social security card, driver’s license or state ID, food handlers card, casual business attire, and yes…….a new haircut.

OK, now put them all in one place / bin / shelf / cupboard / hiding spot / cubby.  Then, re-read my blog.  (yes, that was a not-so-veiled attempt at self-promotion)   If you don’t have your tools ready, your first few weeks will be spent gathering and/or perfecting them.  (Did I mention that this “project” may take weeks?)

 

Practice Till It Hurts! – While I would like to think that employers who hire students are going to be pretty patient when it comes to interviews, and will recognize if they are nervous, I’m not sure this is really the case anymore.  Nowadays, teens are competing for the same entry level jobs as adults are.  Even if the employer recognizes the student is nervous, they may see it as a negative reflection of their ability to listen, accept direction, and stay on task.  So, you need to practice job interviewing with your child.  Sit them down at the kitchen table.  Ask them all the questions you think they may be asked at an interview.  Yes, even the tough and open ended ones!  (“Tell me about yourself.” “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” “Why do you want this job?” “Why should I give you this job?” “What skills do you have that will help you do this job?”)

 

Give your child feedback on how well they answered the questions.

Then…..you guessed it…….ask them again till they get it right.

Admittedly, all these tips all sound potentially stressful for both you and your growing teenager.  This is the main reason why you want and need to take your time.  It shouldn’t feel like a horrible chore that everyone avoids.  This process shouldn’t put undue stress on the child to “be perfect”.  (something my children have often told me that they I assume I expect of them)

If this all seems daunting, take a step back.  You can find opportunities to discuss job hunting when you’re out an about running errands together.  Ask them “Would you like to work here?”  It’s a good way to find out what their ideas are for a doable first time adventure into work land.

As parents we are tasked for preparing our children for the big wide world beyond our front door.  In today’s rough economy and job market it’s even tougher for inexperienced adults to launch into successful careers, and relationships.  Be empathetic, yet committed, to helping (or pushing) them to get to where they want to be……..even if they don’t know where that is.

Just Do It!

It has been a while since I have updated my blog.  I remain, however, active in doling out job search advice and most recently found myself in a very uncomfortable position of having to do so……to my teenaged daughter.

Let me say first that I do not recall ever being afraid of venturing out on my own.  Maybe it’s because I started working when I was 16 years old in a pine furniture manufacturing company while I was attending boarding school.  I worked half the day and went to school for the other half.  All of my wages went to pay for my tuition.  I was never afraid or nervous, that was just how it was.

It certainly wasn’t fun though.  Believe me when I tell you there was plenty of frustrating days and with no air conditioning or heat in the building where we worked, we were quite often either freezing or sweating.   The work was hard, and dirty, and tiring.  But, since this blog is not how to keep a job or how to move beyond workplace frustrations, I digress.

Tip of The Day

“Just Do It!”

Just a few weeks ago I found out about a job fair on Facebook.  The job fair had been posted by the culinary school that my 18 year old daughter will be attending this Fall.  I told her about it and when the day of the job fair arrived and I told her that I would drive her there, when I got home from work.  I asked her to get ready by showering, dressing appropriately, and putting her resume and business cards in a folder.

When I got home she was sitting on the couch, in old faded jeans, and in a very very bad mood that only female teenagers are capable of pulling off. 

She whined, “Can’t we just go on another day?”

To make a somewhat long and dramatic story somewhat short I had to practicallydrag her to the store. I bought her black slacks, makeup, and earrings.  I insisted that she change her pants at the store and then put on makeup in the car on the way.  She was emotional and accused me of “not being very supportive”.  She wanted to talk about her bad day, she wanted to whine about her school work stress.  I would have nothing of it. 

She said she was afraid and she didn’t know what to expect when she got there.

I pushed her.  I asked her questions I knew they would ask in the interview.  She cried.  I yelled.  I was frustrated at her lack of appreciation for the lengths I was going….to get HER a job!  I told her to “suck it up” and that the world does not revolve around her.  (I am telling the absolute truth when I say that this notion is truly a momentous concept for a teenaged girl)

 

Seriously?

As a teenager I worked in a dirty and boring job, didn’t see a dime of my paycheck,

and SHE was whining?

I have to admit, she pulled it off.  She walked in the job fair with her head held high, answered all of the questions like a seasoned pro and they offered her the job ON THE SPOT. 

Another high point of her day was finding out they were willing to pay her over $3 an hour more than her previous seasonal cashiering job.

She was elated.  She thanked me over and over (and continues to do so, to this day) for pushing her.

My daughter now works for the catering department at Nike, the shoe company in Beaverton Oregon that coined our title phrase.  It’s been a very tough transition for the whole family but we are all happy for her and she works very hard at balancing her responsibilities with her free time desires.  In all honesty, she really didn’t WANT a job but knew it was the next step in her progression of becoming an adult.

Sometimes we need to just DO what we know we have to.  We have to get off our butts, and go to that networking event on the other side of town even when we have PMS from Hell.  We have to suck it up and put on makeup and pretend we want to be at that job interview when we’d really rather be at the beach.  We have to practice, and walk the walk, and talk the talk, and be involved in our own growth.  We have to push ourselves outside our comfort zone and meet new people and allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

Sometimes we don’t have someone to push us.

Sometimes we have to push ourselves.

Sometimes we have to set aside the excuses, our feelings of inadequacy and our fears.

Sometimes we have to “Just Do It!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Know When to Say "No!"

Not too long ago I wrote about the similarities between dating and job interviewing.  (July 18, 2011 “Why Interviewing is Like Dating”) and led my readers to consider that dressing up for interviews, hoping to make a good first impression, and all that waiting by the phone make us all feel a bit uncomfortable and vulnerable.

Today, I suggest that the analogy extends even beyond the first date.  If you’re actively seeking a long term relationship (the employment kind, or otherwise) eventually you reach a place where you’ll need to carefully consider the offer that is put before you and analyze how closely it matches your goals. 

But wait….

What ARE your career goals?

Do you know?

A few weeks ago I received a job offer from a very large, and well known, electronics company.  It was a tough decision but I politely told them “No, thank you” after I had weighed their offer against, not only my career goals, but other options that were still open to me.

Tip of The Day

Do the math, and check it against your goals, before accepting a less than ideal job offer.

So…why did I decline the offer?

1)      Do the Math - I receive $507 per week in unemployment compensation.  My vehicle gets 17 miles per gallon and the commute distance was 50 miles per day.  Gas is almost $3.50 per gallon so my weekly gas bill would be $70.  The job offer was for $18 per hour.  (Gross Pay of $720 per 40 hour week)  If you consider how far I would be driving, and my net working pay after 20% income taxes and deductions, my weekly take home would be LESS than my unemployment compensation! 

2)      Unemployment 101 – Initial unemployment claims are good for 6 months.  I received this job offer only 2 months into my 6 months of compensation.  I have to admit, however, that had I received the offer with only a month or less of benefits left to go I would have JUMPED at it.

3)      To Temp or Not to Temp? – I have also posted about the benefits of accepting temporary jobs as a method of extending your unemployment benefits and in consideration of the permanent position opportunities that may present themselves.  The opportunity I turned down was indeed supposed to turn into a permanent position, but not for at least 90 days. As such, that extended the amount of time before I would be eligible for any benefits.  Another proverbial “point” against my new employer.

4)      You want an answer WHEN? – At the time the recruiter called me she indicated that I would need to make my decision within 15 minutes and would need to show up for work within 2 hours.  I had already interviewed for another company and was waiting for a call from them for either a 2^nd interview or a job offer.  The other option was for a permanent job that was within 2 miles of my home and paid significantly more than the temporary job that was offered.  The recruiter called me at 12:15 pm so there was NO WAY I would be able to get a hold of anyone at the other company to see if I was still in the running, or not.

Perhaps you will agree with me that an ideal full time job is close to home, pays competitive wages, is permanent, provides good benefits and advancement opportunity, and an intellectual challenge. Perhaps not. What are you goals?  What are the details behind the offer that is presented to you?  Is it mathematically a great job opportunity or just a short term fix?

The more honestly and thoroughly you consider your long term career goals the more prepared you will be to make the tough call and...know when to say no.

Are you Linkedin?

Keeping up with the latest gizmo, gadget, pick up line, catch phrase, or internet sensation is hard work!  If you’re old like me (read: somewhat past my prime) you may even question the relevance of spending time keeping up with the latest this or that when it’ll be gone by the time you brag to your friends about being hip enough to know about it.

You probably have a Facebook page.  They’re so mainstream now even my “I can’t figure out how to work it” mom has a Facebook page!  You probably have email and the majority of US households have personal computers, or several.  You may even have a smart phone.  But….are you Linkedin?

Tip of the Day

A Linkedin profile is an absolute necessity for job seekers!

If you’ve never heard of Linkedin before, it’s like Facebook but used only for your professional contacts.  In a nutshell, you build a professional profile which closely resembles your resume and then search out “contacts”.  Contacts are people that you have worked for, or with, in the course of your career.   You can also gain contacts by networking, volunteering, or mentoring.  Once you have them, you can then ask your contacts for recommendations. (which are similar to but are, by far, more effective than professional references.)  You can also find jobs and post updates like promotions, job changes, certifications / degrees achieved, or new skills acquired.

The most important function of Linkedin, however, it that it gives you

the ability to efficiently research not only the companies that you’re interested in working for….

but the decision makers that already work there!

These days employers put up virtual or literal barriers to keep job seekers from knowing who they are because HR departments and recruiters don’t want to be inundated with phone calls and emails.  The most common way for companies to do this is to place “blind” ads in newspapers or craigslist.  And even if you do know who the hiring company is it is also quite common for companies to force job seekers to “apply online” via their website.  This process is tedious and often takes hours!  Both methods are impersonal and frustrating for those of us that seek to stand out in the literal crowd of applicants.

So….how DO you stand out in a literal crowd of applicants?

Go to Linkedin.com and do your research!  Who is the manager for the department that you’re applying for?  Who is the human resource manager?  How many of their employers are on Linkedin?  Do you know anyone who already works there?  Do you have any contact in common with someone who works there?  Or better yet…do you have a Linkedin recommendation from a contact who is also a contact with the hiring manager at the company you’re applying for?

A few weeks ago I wrote a Pulitzer prize winning cover letter to the new V.P. of a retirement community management company I was applying for.  I mentioned the growth of their industry and how interested I was in applying my specific skill set to addressing their challenges.  My professional mentor, who had given me a Linkedin recommendation, was also a contact with the V.P. I had addressed the cover letter to; and I included a short excerpt from it into the cover letter itself.

After I dropped off the cover letter and resume (I did NOT mail it, a process which is also referred to as “cold calling”) my mentor then called the V.P. to mention my interest in the position and emphasize how well suited I was for his company’s needs.

Unfortunately, the position that I applied was put on hold and the company is no longer hiring.  (crappy luck, if there ever was any!) If and when they re-open the position, however, the V.P. told my mentor that I’ll be the first person they call!

I may not have a job (yet) but I KNOW that I’m on the right track and that employers appreciate candidates who go the extra mile, do their homework, and stand out.

You don’t need stilettos to stand above the crowd (see my previous blog post “What NOT to Wear”) or facial piercings to get noticed!  Using online tools like Linkedin to do your research and gain valuable professional connections will go a loooooong ways in landing you your next perfect job!

It's Not Easy

Yesterday sucked.  Big time.  Not because anything horrible happened but because...nothing...at all...happened.

I'm a Type A person, always moving, always on the go.  Being unemployed makes me feel lazy, and boring; and it makes me question my own value....not only to society but to the ones I love.

If someone asks me "How are things with you? What's new?" I feel like a complete LOSER if I say "Nothing."  I feel like I should just stay in bed if my one contribution to this world will be walking the dog.

 

Tip of The Day

"Just keep swimming"

 

This blog is about how to stay sane while being unemployed.  How to stay focused, keep your spirits up, how to find a job, etc...

 

Today, however, I'm here to admit that it's just not that easy.  Every plan does not go as planned and some days it's just plain difficult to "Just keep swimming."

 

I'm a huge Disney fan.  One of my favorite animated movies is Finding Nemo.  I love Dori, Nemo's friend character who is voiced by Ellen Degeneres.  She is brainless, but everyone loves her anyways...including me. 

 

Sometimes denial works as a coping mechanism. 

But for Dori, it is a way of life. 

 

Maybe letting go for a day and refusing to acknowledge that challenges even exist, is not a bad idea?

 

Maybe allowing myself to enjoy a moment of boredom or lack of focus, and letting myself off the hook for not being fabulous all the time is a GOOD thing?

 

Today I don't have the answers. 

 

Today I am willing to admit that while I sometimes make it all sound easy, it just isn't.

 

 

 

 

 

 



It Ain't Over...Till it's Over.

Looking for a job is hard work.  I give a lot of advice with how to deal with not having a daily social outlet or financial security; and how to find strength to keep moving.  Some days even I have to re-read my own advice on how to stay motivated.  I'm tired.  I just want to give up. 

Maybe you're tired too?  After several months of unemployment you may be tempted to put all your energy into ONE job opportunity and hope for the best.  After all, you're great, and really qualified, and the interview went well.  Do you really need to keep looking?

Tip of The Day

It ain't over, till you have a job offer.

A friend of mine is also struggling with unemployment right now.  She's a mom of 3 busy boys (the very definition of tired!) and a recent college grad.  Recently, I emailed her a couple of job postings I saw that listed her qualifications.  When I saw these jobs, I immediately thought of her.  They were PERFECT for her.

A couple of days ago I asked her about a recent job interview. She had just found out that she didn't get the job and was pretty upset.  I asked her about the job postings I had sent to her.  She said "I didn't apply for them, I was so sure I would get that other job." 

When she went to re-trace her steps to apply for those jobs they were, you guessed it....the jobs were closed.  They were no longer accepting applications.

I'm going to over-state the obvious here to make a point...

In order to get a job you have to get an interview.

In order to get an interview you have to apply for the job.

In order to apply for the job you have to find a job posting.

In order to find a job posting you have to LOOK...HARD...EVERY DAY!

 

It's OK to pause for a moment and celebrate a good interview.  It's OK to post on facebook that "It looks like I'll be back to work very soon!"  But, no matter how tempting it is, you cannot stop looking until you have a job offer.  You might miss out of something great if you put all your hope on just one job opportunity.

A few weeks ago I had 3 job interviews.  Every one of them went well and all of the interviewers said I would be passed to the next interview level, the following week.  What happened?  The following week all THREE of the jobs were put on hold.  They're not hiring...right now. 

Oh Crap!

The good news is that once they are hiring again (if they do) they'll presumably call me.

The bad news is that I cannot sit around and wait for the phone to ring.   I have no choice but to keep looking until I get an offer.

Hopefully, I'll be a really, really, really great one to boot!

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

Many of my posts give advice for how to find a job when you’re unemployed.  Many people, however, are employed but are not challenged.  Or even worse…they are being bullied in the workplace.

Making the decision to change jobs can be as stressful as being unemployed.  (Ok, maybe not, but close!?)  If you’re in this situation you may find yourself torn between the comfort of your commute, your co-workers who may be your friends, and the opportunities that await you. 

Straddling the emotional fence is a tough gig.  In fact there was even a song written about this quandary:

“Should I stay or should I go now?

If I go there will be trouble…

If I stay there will be double…”

OK, so what’s my point?

Tip of The Day

You can use the tips I outline in this blog to find a job,

even if you’re already employed.

You may have to scale back the time you spend looking for a job because, let’s face it, the laundry and dishes have to be done with the couple of hours you have left at the end of each day.  And most of the networking activities may not be doable when you’re split between here and there but…you can do it!

Set aside an hour on Tuesday evening for your “X” list and Thursday evening for follow up.  Even two, very organized, hours per week will make a difference.

Instead of face to face networking you can use social media.  If you’re not facebook friends with anyone at work (it really is a good idea to maintain a policy of keeping work friends, at work, for this reason) you should let people know via your facebook posts, or other social media outlets, that you’re looking for work.  (Or, I guess you could block your work friends from your job seeking related facebook posts.)

And what happens when a new employer calls and wants you to interview?  Try to schedule interviews for very early in the morning or very late in the day to minimize the disruption to your day.  I try to schedule mine early to avoid the all day and very real possibility of a wardrobe or one of life’s other “malfunctions”.  Spilled coffee on my blouse, ripped stockings, a broken boot heel, lost car keys, running out of gas…yep…been there done that. 

Believe me, you don’t want to show up to an interview looking disheveled and may not have time to run home and sew your bra strap back on!

It’s very easy to get emotionally caught up in the process of looking for a job and losing focus on your actual-paying-the-bills-currently job.  Whatever you do, try not to let that happen.  You never know.  It may take you months of looking (but hopefully not) and you don’t want your work to suffer in the meantime. 

Why?

You need the reference.

Don’t burn the bridge.

…and other cliché’s that come to mind.