Your Child's First Job (aka "Where Did The Time Go?")

As my children grow older, I am now faced with a very different perspective on being a parent.  It’s a very odd feeling and I’m not entirely sure where I fit.  Am I parent or just a landlord? Do I offer advice or wait for them to ask?  Do I direct them or merely make suggestions? Put simply, it’s way more difficult than I imagined it would be.

For example, I am guilt ridden if dinner is not ready when my 18 year old gets home from work…..at 9:30 pm.  I constantly have to stop myself from texting if I have not heard from them for several hours.  I still do their laundry with mine and I still wash their dishes and pick up after them. 

Am I helping them or enabling them?

There is one area, however, in which I know I am right on track.  I walk the talk when it comes to the job hunting tips I share with you on this blog.  

I am am amazed at how many parents expect their children to somehow find a job when their kids don’t know the first thing about how or where to look!  The days of walking to the local gas station or fast food place and then getting hired on the spot are GONE!  I’m amazed at how many high schoolers are given dozens of hours of direction on how to find the right college, and little or NO direction on maneuvering the till-you-find-the-perfect-career point in their lives.

So, for all you parents out there, here are a few tips that will help you get focused, and get started, on helping your child find a job.

Focus, Focus, Focus –  WARNING:  This can be the hardest part. Ask yourself:  What are my child’s strengths and weaknesses that will help or hurt them on the job?  Are they sociable or introverted?  Do they have a driver’s license? If not, can I take them to and from work? Are there lots of opportunity in your town or will they be commuting to a larger, nearby, city? (Can they parallel park!?  EEK!) Are they organized and focused or scattered and require a lot of direction?  What are their long term goals and can those be applied to a short term, and/or part time, job? Are they ready to juggle school and a job?  Are both parents on board to support them in this endeavor?  Does my child know how to manage their money responsibly?

Until you can answer these questions, dare I say, that as a parent;

YOU are not ready for them to have a job!

 

Small Steps, Big Results – Once you’ve answered all of the tough questions, now it’s time for action.  Establish a generous timeline for finding a job.  It will be much easier to make progress if you devote a little time each week rather than a lot of time this week, and then none for weeks on end.  Determine exactly how much time will be spent each week devoted to the tasks of job searching, resume building, networking, and volunteering.  Gather all your child’s “tools”.

These may include, but are not limited to:  A resume, letters of recommendations, business cards, personal and/or volunteer reference list, social security card, driver’s license or state ID, food handlers card, casual business attire, and yes…….a new haircut.

OK, now put them all in one place / bin / shelf / cupboard / hiding spot / cubby.  Then, re-read my blog.  (yes, that was a not-so-veiled attempt at self-promotion)   If you don’t have your tools ready, your first few weeks will be spent gathering and/or perfecting them.  (Did I mention that this “project” may take weeks?)

 

Practice Till It Hurts! – While I would like to think that employers who hire students are going to be pretty patient when it comes to interviews, and will recognize if they are nervous, I’m not sure this is really the case anymore.  Nowadays, teens are competing for the same entry level jobs as adults are.  Even if the employer recognizes the student is nervous, they may see it as a negative reflection of their ability to listen, accept direction, and stay on task.  So, you need to practice job interviewing with your child.  Sit them down at the kitchen table.  Ask them all the questions you think they may be asked at an interview.  Yes, even the tough and open ended ones!  (“Tell me about yourself.” “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” “Why do you want this job?” “Why should I give you this job?” “What skills do you have that will help you do this job?”)

 

Give your child feedback on how well they answered the questions.

Then…..you guessed it…….ask them again till they get it right.

Admittedly, all these tips all sound potentially stressful for both you and your growing teenager.  This is the main reason why you want and need to take your time.  It shouldn’t feel like a horrible chore that everyone avoids.  This process shouldn’t put undue stress on the child to “be perfect”.  (something my children have often told me that they I assume I expect of them)

If this all seems daunting, take a step back.  You can find opportunities to discuss job hunting when you’re out an about running errands together.  Ask them “Would you like to work here?”  It’s a good way to find out what their ideas are for a doable first time adventure into work land.

As parents we are tasked for preparing our children for the big wide world beyond our front door.  In today’s rough economy and job market it’s even tougher for inexperienced adults to launch into successful careers, and relationships.  Be empathetic, yet committed, to helping (or pushing) them to get to where they want to be……..even if they don’t know where that is.

Just Do It!

It has been a while since I have updated my blog.  I remain, however, active in doling out job search advice and most recently found myself in a very uncomfortable position of having to do so……to my teenaged daughter.

Let me say first that I do not recall ever being afraid of venturing out on my own.  Maybe it’s because I started working when I was 16 years old in a pine furniture manufacturing company while I was attending boarding school.  I worked half the day and went to school for the other half.  All of my wages went to pay for my tuition.  I was never afraid or nervous, that was just how it was.

It certainly wasn’t fun though.  Believe me when I tell you there was plenty of frustrating days and with no air conditioning or heat in the building where we worked, we were quite often either freezing or sweating.   The work was hard, and dirty, and tiring.  But, since this blog is not how to keep a job or how to move beyond workplace frustrations, I digress.

Tip of The Day

“Just Do It!”

Just a few weeks ago I found out about a job fair on Facebook.  The job fair had been posted by the culinary school that my 18 year old daughter will be attending this Fall.  I told her about it and when the day of the job fair arrived and I told her that I would drive her there, when I got home from work.  I asked her to get ready by showering, dressing appropriately, and putting her resume and business cards in a folder.

When I got home she was sitting on the couch, in old faded jeans, and in a very very bad mood that only female teenagers are capable of pulling off. 

She whined, “Can’t we just go on another day?”

To make a somewhat long and dramatic story somewhat short I had to practicallydrag her to the store. I bought her black slacks, makeup, and earrings.  I insisted that she change her pants at the store and then put on makeup in the car on the way.  She was emotional and accused me of “not being very supportive”.  She wanted to talk about her bad day, she wanted to whine about her school work stress.  I would have nothing of it. 

She said she was afraid and she didn’t know what to expect when she got there.

I pushed her.  I asked her questions I knew they would ask in the interview.  She cried.  I yelled.  I was frustrated at her lack of appreciation for the lengths I was going….to get HER a job!  I told her to “suck it up” and that the world does not revolve around her.  (I am telling the absolute truth when I say that this notion is truly a momentous concept for a teenaged girl)

 

Seriously?

As a teenager I worked in a dirty and boring job, didn’t see a dime of my paycheck,

and SHE was whining?

I have to admit, she pulled it off.  She walked in the job fair with her head held high, answered all of the questions like a seasoned pro and they offered her the job ON THE SPOT. 

Another high point of her day was finding out they were willing to pay her over $3 an hour more than her previous seasonal cashiering job.

She was elated.  She thanked me over and over (and continues to do so, to this day) for pushing her.

My daughter now works for the catering department at Nike, the shoe company in Beaverton Oregon that coined our title phrase.  It’s been a very tough transition for the whole family but we are all happy for her and she works very hard at balancing her responsibilities with her free time desires.  In all honesty, she really didn’t WANT a job but knew it was the next step in her progression of becoming an adult.

Sometimes we need to just DO what we know we have to.  We have to get off our butts, and go to that networking event on the other side of town even when we have PMS from Hell.  We have to suck it up and put on makeup and pretend we want to be at that job interview when we’d really rather be at the beach.  We have to practice, and walk the walk, and talk the talk, and be involved in our own growth.  We have to push ourselves outside our comfort zone and meet new people and allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

Sometimes we don’t have someone to push us.

Sometimes we have to push ourselves.

Sometimes we have to set aside the excuses, our feelings of inadequacy and our fears.

Sometimes we have to “Just Do It!”